The 21st Century American Virgin

Last week, I had a very interesting conversation with one of my good friends back home. I was surprised when she confided in me some very private issues. While I won't divulge as to what happened out of respect, all I will say is that the more I live out my youth, the more I am proud of abstaining from sex.

I am definitely a product of the abstinence only sex education. I didn't really care because considering my strong devotion to the Christian faith and ultimately my lack of skills in approaching girls during grade school, abstinence was a good fit. It wasn't until college when I saw my first condom (Our hall and the Health Eductation Department at UCI gave out free condoms and mini lubes). In fact, many of my dorm friends were really inexperienced in using a condom, probably a product of either the abstinence only education or a very generalized sex education system. However, it's college, and everyone is willing to "experiment"even though they do make mistakes (and sometimes those mistakes do cost them dearly). I still stuck to my celibacy in college, mostly because I still latched on to my faith and I still ultimatley lacked skills in approaching women. As now a graduate and therefore a young adult, I will admit that I sense a little pressure to lose my virginity, but it is WAY minute compared to college and even less compared to high school. After my conversation with my good friend, thank God I never pursued actually having sex.

The country has indeed changed the way it has viewed sex today. While our education system continues to teach an abstinence through fear agenda, there is now an overwhelming number of young people (and when I mean young, I mean possibly in the young 'teens) who are a tad more "experienced" than even myself (I don't know if that's a bad thing or a good thing). Perhaps we can blame the media (as always) for the overwhelming numbers. The biggest downside to this is that we find our country with the highest number of teen pregnancies in the developed world, one of the highest numbers of new STD cases, and one of the highest number of abortions performed in the world. Definitely, we can't deny that our sex education through abstinence has failed. However, I do fear the alternative that will probably be the norm in the future, sex education through contraceptives (condoms, birth control, etc.). While I don't like the idea of a bunch of Christian hoohahs trying to scare our kids into not having sex by false ideas and numbers, I also don't appreciate the "good" people of Planned Parenthood teaching our kids that their first response to their raging hormones is how to put on a condom or how to use the pill.

Overall, I still believe abstinence is the best choice over safe sex, even though as of now that is not so convincing considering all the numbers today. However, I don't believe in the abstinence through fear (even though that does play a small role in our celibacy) that we have been teaching today, rather we should be teaching abstinence through empowerment. At the end of the day, how I stayed abstinent was to realize that love, especially at the initial stages, shouldn't be influenced on the physical aspects. It is unbelievable to me how many people believe that how we love someone is synonymous to if we are willing to sleep with them and them some. Also, long term love at this age and especially in the 'teens, is the last thing most people usually think about. Sure there are those that actually do love each other, but it is of the rarest of occasions at this age. Otherwise, we should be teaching how to actually filter out what is first of all real love and who are ultimately the perverted douchebags and assholes of our society (and there are definitely a lot of them!). This is what I mean through empowerment. We should be teaching the now (sadly) revolutionary concept that we don't have to sleep with the first person we like. Also, while we are destined to find our sex education teaching about condoms and the pill, it should be designed to be the safety net, NOT the primary response.

The reason why I wrote about this topic is not because I am having second thoughts about my virginity. Also, I'm not pointing fingers at you, the readers of this blog. Rather, it should be a discussion that should stay active, even at our age. As we start to reconsider how sex in America should be taught, we should also consider our futures, especially our potential kids. Whatever we decide today will be taught to our kids in the later years. While it is true that we as the parent has an even greater influence on how our kids think about sex, we can't doubt the fact that our education system will have a significant influence as well. I also believe that this topic will indeed affect other important issues as well, from the future of abortions to even how we treat and love our significant other.

When my friend at the dorms found out that I was a celibate virgin, she tagged me as a dinosaur, someone that was once walking giants of this Earth, but is now going extinct. I don't want the concpet of abstinence to go the way of the dodo. Indeed, I am not the perfect example of a virgin because I do laugh and even indulge at the inappropriate (it's too hard to resist!). On the other hand, no matter what, I am still a virgin and proud of it. There is indeed great freedom to staying celibate. I don't have to worry about so much like diseases or getting a girl pregnant. As a result, I can do so many other things with my independence. Also, while physical characteristics do play some role with whom I'm attracted to, it definitely is not the most important or even the sole factor with whom I fall in love with.

I just wish other people realize that as well.

That is all.

Cursing and Smoking to Take the Pain Out?

It's been a while since I've seriously blogged. Here is my top five.

5) July Fourth Weekend was awesome. Saw Wicked with Melissa and her family at the Orpheum in San Francisco. After months of wondering why everyone is so crazy about this musical...I understand why now. It was just awesome!

Afterward, I spent the rest of the evening with the family at American Canyon. I love Independence Day in our city. Despite being so "small town" ish, I think a holiday like this makes our tiny community shine even further. Not to mention I love the fireworks show! I also like the booths that they put up in a nearby baseball field. They even have these small bands that do cover songs. I don't really pay attention to the music, but they're pretty good. The one guy drunk with Budweiser and dancing solo makes the testament that it was a pretty damn good festival.

The one thing I've noticed about myself is that I'm a little racist. Well, not so much racist, but rather I like to amplify stereotypes. It's hilarious to me, and to some of the people that I tend to hang out with (I hope), but I seriously think this will bite me in the ass in the future if I don't control myself.

4) I'm hella addicted to Sonic's and their drinks. Especially during Happy Hour. You can't pass on a large Strawberry Slush for about one dollar. You just can't! Even though pretty much it's just sugar, water, and red color (with a small amount of strawberry puree I suspect).

If you've been to Sonic's, you know what I'm talking about.

3) I love my Anatomy class at the moment! Even though it's on the summer and it's pretty fast paced. However, being a product of the University of California, I'm used to fast paced.

It's also interesting to meet the people at the community college. Since it's summer, a lot of them are from other schools. However, especially during the regular year, the diversity and the goals are just spread throughout! Well sort of. Many of the goals are nursing, nursing, nursing...and also a few physical therapists. There's also old people in the classes making those massive career changes at the moment.

Speaking of which, my advice to myself and to everyone else who reads this is to really be sure of what you want to do with your life. I feel like this is a piece of advice that everyone knows, but no one wants to follow or considers it not worth our attention. I talked to my friend who I took BME classes with and wondered what our top classmates were doing. They are in the top schools, doing research, and are now having second thoughts about what they got themselves into. I'm just saying that it really blows that you are working so hard getting the top grades and going to the top graduate programs...and you are getting cold feet.

Ain't that a bitch.

2) Our state is going insane! It's going to the point where I'm even considering moving out of the state of California. Maybe the East Coast or something. It's simply a welfare state without the consequences of support all those programs (a.k.a. the extremely high taxes, even though we do have one of the highest if not the highest tax rates in the country!).

One of the big solutions (and there are many drastic, revolutionary changes being considered) is to legalize marijuana for casual use. A lot of people are for this at the moment. Well, a lot of the people that I've talked to at least. However, I'm a little hesitant. First, people are saying that it will eliminate the drug violence in our state if we do legalize it. I've read an article on The Economist about the results of legalizing marijuana in The Netherlands has been. Drug violence, while it has decreased a bit, has not been completely eliminated. I think it will be the same for this state. We say that we can tax the hell out the marijuana and ease our budget woes. However, I think there still will be black market growers that will try to elude the tax collectors and collect 100% of the profits, which is connected to why the drug violence isn't necessarily going to go away if we do this!

At the same time, it is true that marijuana is not as potent a drug as the others (I do believe that drug addicts in general should be put in rehab programs and not our prisons). Also, if we legalize it, we may find that while the first few years or decades will be insane, that this drug will go away with the dodo, especially when we finally legitimize the side effects which so many swear does not exist for marijuana (just look at how unpopular cigarettes are nowadays).

I'm torn on this issue, but I do currently lean on "no". Also, even though California does legalize marijuana, it's still illegal in Federal Standards, and the last thing I need is the DEA busting my door and getting a human booster shot in a Federal prison, if you get my drift. However, I do support marijuana for medicinal purposes.

If our state legislators are seriously thinking that we are going to get out of this deficit by getting high, I swear I will work hard to ensure that they all get out of office!

1) Did something extremely painful like cutting your finger or stubbing your toe? Here's the solution...swear! There was an article that stated that cursing actually makes the pain a tad more tolerable than if you were otherwise more "civilized". So it does work when I scream "FUCK" whenever I stub my toe!

However, note that if you curse more so in your casual conversations, it will not be as effective compared to if you only curse when you do get into these painful situations.

It's just confirming what an overwhelming majority of people do.

That is all.